Zeomort or......He Who Must Not Be Named

You know when I was growing up my mom used to say “if people talk about you, good or bad, it’s a good thing. It’s when they stop talking about you that you should worry” As a very young lad I didn’t quite get this. Growing up, now I understand that it is based on the same principal as “there is no such thing as bad publicity”.

For some reason though there are an amount of people that find it extremely interesting to gossip about me. You know I am flattered and all, but I also feel kinda sad for these people. If they so love to gossip about my boring little life, can you imagine how fucking boring and absolutely hollow their lives are.

The latest thing that gets gossiped about is the fact that I do dark magick and practice necromancy. So I am just quickly gonna clear the air so we can all at least just gossip about the facts. You know that’s the least you can do, you pathetic turd.

So firsty please define dark magick. If by that you mean that I do not follow the Wiccan Rede, then duh!! I don’t claim to be Wiccan. I don’t adhere to the moral guidelines of the Wiccan Rede as I believe, like any guidelines one should eventually have the brain capacity to grow beyond it. I also do not fully agree with the golden rule of ‘An ye harm none, do as ye will’. If someone breaks into my house, kills my cats and starts beating up my husband, do you expect me to fold my arms and apologize to my husband for not helping him because the Wiccan Rede says I am not allowed to do any harm. Screw that, I will take the bastard out.

I have never killed an animal ritual, to date. If I attend an African ritual (like the Twasa of a Sangoma) where I am to slaughter a chicken for the ritual, then I will do it. No Issues. Don’t tell me it’s wrong. Their faith is as Pagan as yours and dates back hundreds and hundreds of years, who the hell do you think you are to tell them that its dark and evil. Practice what you preach doos. If you mean by dark magick that Invoke demons to do my bidding then I am afraid you are also a bit confused as I don’t really even believe in Demons. I believe that we make our own demons and angels by how we live. So if you are having shit in your life and you say it’s due to a demon that I sent you, 1- I really hardly have time to make love to my husband, do you honestly think I am going to waste what little time I have on someone as small as you and 2- Go look at your own life idiot cuz Karma is a bitch. The Christians have a lovely quote about removing the boulder from your own eyes before trying to remove the pebble from someone else’s.

If you mean by dark magick that I protect my kith and kin and what I hold dear to me. Then yes, I am guilty as charged. Tell me if you are a martial arts master, will you not use that to defend your kith and kin and what you hold near and dear? If you are a boxer, will you not do the same? And if you were an archer, a cop, a lawyer? So what’s the difference? Like everyone else I am using the craft that I am trained in to protect and defend my kith and kin and what I hold near and dear.

Oh then lets not forget about the accusation of Necromancy. I confess that since I was little a boy I could see and speak to things that other people could not. No I cannot do this on demand, it just kind of happens. I don’t know if you want to call these things or people, ghosts or spirits or whatever, but I see them and talk to them. I have also used the Ouija board many many times and have done so while teaching others to do the same. I also have guided living people through the use of fortune telling more times than what I care to count. 

John Dee & Edward Kelly Invoking a Spirit

If you have no idea what I am talking about here then you are clearly as dumb as dirt and as pathetic as the bullshit that comes from your mouth. Because that is what Necromancy is defined as. You can look it up in a dictionary or even on Wikipedia. 

"In the present day, necromancy is more generally used as a term to describe the pretense of manipulation of death and the dead, often facilitated through the use of ritual magic or some other kind of occult ceremony. Contemporary séances, channeling, Spiritism and Spiritualism verge on necromancy when supposedly invoked spirits are asked to reveal future events or secret information. Necromancy may also be presented as sciomancy, a branch of theurgic magic."

So really, you ignorant little fuck, go and educate yourself before you try to accuse someone of something that you don’t even know what the fuck it means.

Yes people, here you have it now, straight from the uncles mouth. Now maybe at least you can try to practice factual gossip. Have a nice day. I don't mean to insult people that truly did not know what Necromancy means and didnt talk kak everywhere they go. This Blogg is aimed at those that will now feel offended because I call them dumb fucks and then start gossipping about how rude I am. At least that too is a fact. I am rude to people who gossip.

Mwah!!

Drie Honderd

I just have to make this post. I didn't do create this video. As a matter of fact I don't even know the people that did but it is surely the funniest thing I have seen this year. You simply have to watch it. You can search for it on youtube.com as well. 

It is in Cape Flats afrikaans and your volume has to be pretty loud to hear eaxactly what they are saying, but please, do yourself the favour and watch it. 

Everythime I watch this the tears roll down my face from all the laughing. To the guys that made this, if you ever even see this post, thank you for this. It is so funny that it just cheers me up whenever I need an little cheering up.

Mwah

Ones of the West

We have all seen movies such as ‘The Little Mermaid’ wondering how grand life has to be as an underwater sea creature. Being able to breathe underwater and having practically almost no gravitational set backs ahs been a dream that has captivated millions of people. The first distinction that has to be made is that there are really four types of creatures that loosely fall in the mermaid category. We will take a look at each of these four “aspects” of mermaids.

1. Mermaids

Most, if not all, cultures have historical tales to tell about mermaids. Although merman has apparently also been sighted by sailors, it remains mostly a feminine tale and a powerful one at that. In ancient Mediterranean cultures, mermaids were seen as semi-divine aspects of the ultimate Goddess due to the connection with the sea from which all life comes. They were honoured in seaside Temples. One of the earliest stories of these creatures comes from the land of Assyria at about 1000 BCE. Atagartis, an Assyrian priestess, apparently jumped into the sea to rid herself of the shame for having an unwanted pregnancy. She rose from the sea as a fish tailed Goddess. In the second century BCE, the Greek historian Lucian, reported that the statue that represented the great Goddess at the Temple of Hieropolis had the tail of a fish instead of human legs. Also in Greece, Aphrodite was born of the sea foam and rode to the shore on half a scallop shell which automatically also linked her to these creatures. By the first century CE the historian Pliny wrote that mermaids did most certainly exist but their bodies were completely scaled and very rough. However this description only lasted till the Fifth century CE, when the bestiary Physiologus, described mermaids in the contemporary way as we know them today. Having the body of a beautiful maiden from the navel up with the tail of a fish. During the middle ages mermaids were frequently sighted by all types of seamen including Christopher Columbus, who apparently spotted three of them on his journey to the Americas in 1493. Some say that what he might have seen was in actual fact Manatee’s which are marine creatures that cradle their young in their arms like humans. Mermaids often featured in the lore of sailors. The most well known them would be a tale of warning featuring mermaids that would seduce sailors and take them to their underwater lair, never to be seen again. They were also believed to cause storms and shipwrecks when they were provoked. The church of Rome, during the dark ages, reinforced these tales and said that mermaids were the symbols of vanity, lust, the spiritual perils of woman and of sexuality.

Even though all the myths relating to mermaids seem like far off dreams it is not exactly the case. Until the nineteenth century there was still a law on the statute book, decreeing that any mermaid found in British waters was the property of the Crown.

2. Nereids

One of the creation myths of the Greek Isle’s says that the union of Oceanus, the Earth-encircling river and Tethys, the fertile ocean produced three thousand daughters who had the task of protecting the depths. One of these daughters, Doris, and the ancient sea God, Nereus were the parents of the Nereids.

Nereids were similar creatures who guarded over bodies of freshwater such as springs, lakes and rivers.

These beautiful women rode naked through the waves of the Aegean and other salt water season the backs of creatures such as dolphins, giant sea horses and other marine life creatures.

Unlike mermaids, Nereids were said to be friendly and protective of sailors. They were also believed to be able to predict storms and guide sailors to good fishing grounds. The two most famous Nereids in all of history were Thetis, the  mother of the Greek hero Achilles and Galatea, beloved by the Cyclops Polyphemus. Galatea rejected the advances of the Cyclops and was attracted to a young beautiful shepherd boy. Polyphemus was raged when he heard of this and hurled a boulder that crushed the poor shepherd boy. Grief stricken Galatea turned the trickling blood of the boy that she loved into a river so that she may forever swim his waters.

3. Naiads

Similar in appearance to the Nereids, the Naiads guarded over the same areas as Naiads but they also guarded over brooks and fountains. Like mermaids they are bound to water. Should their bodies dry out they will die. Naiads were often worshipped in early cults as fertility Goddesses. The consumption of water that was guarded by Naiad was thought to bring prophetic visions and also had healing properties.

Unlike Nereids, Naiads were could also be dangerous and seductive. Hylas, a handsome young man that was part of the of Argonauts who accompanied Jason on his quest to retrieve the Golden Fleece, was kidnapped by Naiads of a spring in Asia Minor and was never seen again. Other European feminine water spirits such as the Germanic Rhinemaidens, the Switzerland Nixes, the French Melusine and the Celtic holy well spirits are all descended from Naiads.

4. Selkies

These legendary creatures originate in Ireland, Scotland and Iceland. Generally speaking these creatures are thought of as being seals that can transform themselves into human beings, usually young beautiful women. In the dialect of Scotland’s Orkney Isles, Selch means seal. Stories that entail these creatures usually end up in tragedy.

A lonely fisherman came a group of selkeis that were out of their seal skins and taking a sun bath on the rocks. He stole the seal skin of one of the girls, forcing her to stay on land and become his wife. It is said that their children had webbed fingers and toes. But not even the love of her children could stop her from looking for her seal skin. When she found it she left her human husband desolate and returned to the sea. Another legend says that if the wife of a fisherman would shed seven tears into the sea, a handsome selkie male would emerge from the water and make passionate love to her. The true meaning of this tale is of course allegorical. Reminding us that the true nature of any creature cannot be hidden forever.

Seals can often be mistaken for human beings swimming in the ocean until they disappear beneath the surface. This is likely to be where this myth originated from.

Generally speaking the image of the mermaid holding her hand held mirror while combing her hair is a symbol of vanity. In so many myths mermaids are seen giving up their natural states for a taste of mortality and true love. The mermaid can thus also be symbol of true love. However at Ephesus their exists what is believed to be the worlds first advertisement. The three symbols that are carved on the slab are a finger pointing, a coin and a mermaid. This is apparently an advertisement for a brothel. The mermaid being the prostitute.

No matter the meaning of the mermaid, it has been an image that has captured the human mind since almost the dawn of time. At one stage just about everyone wanted to either be one or be with one.

Oh Elizabeth

For those of you that know me, you will know that I am completely besotted with the life of the First Queen Elizabeth of England: the Virgin Queen.

Last night I started to watch a two part BBC series on her life, starring Helen Mirren, Jeremy Irons and Hugh Dancy. Interestingly enough Helen Mirren is the only actress ever to play both Elizabeths of England in two different movies. Both of these Queens have led astonishing lives and have proven to be great leaders and even better women.

The Speech of Tilbury as spoken by the First Elizabeth was written down as the following:

“My loving people

We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit our selves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear. I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood even, in the dust.

I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm; to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.

I know already, for your forwardness you have deserved rewards and crowns; and We do assure you in the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean time, my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble or worthy subject; not doubting but by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valour in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.”

This speech was delivered on the 19^th of August 1588 by the Queen, when she left the fort at Tilbury to stand among her people as they were preparing to fight the Spanish Armada. In my opinion this speech clearly shows how great a person this was.

Phillip of Spain declared holy war on England and he did not come to the battle. He was in Spain, not anywhere near the battle. Elizabeth was among her soldiers, ready for battle, should the Armada defeat her ships.

I look at today’s leaders, Political, Religious, Work, Social, Recreational, myself included and I cannot help but ask, where are they? I would like to think that I am amongst my people, helping them with everything, every step of the way. But Who am I to make judgment like that.

Mwah!!!

The Undiscovered Country

The future is what I like to call the Undiscovered Country. Yes that is based on a movie, but it works for me.
I have come to accept that our future is created by the choices that we make everyday. But it lies within the acceptance of these choices that the truth of our future path lies. What you put in is what you will get out. You need to embrace life. You cannot think that all you have to do is put your one foot in the water and from there decide whether or not it is for you. In order to fully accept, understand and maybe even embrace you need to experience the water in full. Forget about putting in just your one foot. Jump. Take a running start and jump into the water with all your might. Swim a few yards and then decide whether or not you like it. The future is un-for-told and if you at every possible opportunity that comes your way decide not to embrace, because your foot didn't like it, then how do you propose to live a full-enriched life.
You are going to make the wrong choices, you are going to get hurt and maybe even others on your journey, the sooner you realize that the better. But if this is not done out malice then at least you have lived and no one can point the "You didn't even really try" finger your way.
Sit back and think about all the things that you had the opportunity to do. Of those things I am sure there are stuff that you regret not doing. Even only if it is to know what it would be like. The good news is that you are not yet dead and you can still do it. But you need to make it happen and at least give it a running chance. No one can do it for you and if you jump in with an attitude of "I don't think this is for me" or "I don't think it will work" well then you will fail. Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right." When jumping you need to have an open mind and understand that you are living your life, your way. It's not like life came with an instruction manual. There will always be people that are not accepting of how you do things. Realize, for your own sake, that you are doing the best that you can do with what you have. No it doesn't always make sense, but hey, how much of it really does on this round thing called Earth, called home.
The point is, when you one-day lay your head down for the eternal sleep, which of the two statements do you wish to make.
1. Shit, I should have done that
2. Shit, maybe I shouldn't have done that.
It really is that easy. But you need to decide for yourself.

Techno Talk

In this modern world of the 21st century that we live in, everything that we do has been made extremely easy for us. You can buy ready made food in almost any store and all you have to do is just eat. Coffee can be bought in little bags and all you have to do is to add boiled water to this mixture and voila, instant cappuccino.
Life has been designed by the leading brands to make it possible for you to life a complete lifetime without ever leaving your home. Your food can be bought online. You can book and buy an airline ticket, movie ticket or just about any ticket without ever having to speak to a single person. All of your banking needs can be taken care of with the help of a small hand held tool on which you do pretty much everything from making calls to planning your day and everywhere you go you can see people chatting to someone on the other end of a data stream instead of talking face to face.
These inventions where designed to better the human race, but I can't help but wonder if it is not in actual fact killing us. Not due to some form of cancer or disease that we may or may not get from using them, but from the mere fact that we have become to dependent on them. Is the human race a dying specie...?
I look around me and everywhere I see people comparing numbers and letters. You here them saying the they have a xprtg6092 (yes I just made that up) and then they other one will be like “cool but mine can do ultra beems of …… condensed fart rays with youtube”. And the second kid is like “wow that’s so awesome” and I am watching them not having a fucking idea of what they they are talking about. It could be a phone or a PC or a fucking portable microwave that folds open to roast a turkey.

People sit right next to each other and they don’t talk anymore. You se their thumbs moving and then they laugh. Oh my holy fucking shit. You see one of them kinda just give a twich and then on the screen you see LMAO. I am watching all of this and thinking what happened to you humanity? I am one of those people that actually do laugh out loudly, so badly that the tears roll down my face.

I still love the feel of paper and the smell of ink writing on that paper. I still love to give and receive hand written letters that have been decorated. I love the smell of old books and reading from a tomb of fibres instead of fibreoptics. People don’t use vowels any more when they type and it just confuses the shit out of me. If I ask someone on email how they are doing I still type out – How are you doing? No not today I got a message the other day from an unknown number and this pretty much what it looked like – Hi, hwd? Ur invt 2 bdy pty. Sat @ 7. C u.

I wasn’t sure if there was a problem with my phone or if the extraterrestrials have now finally decided to invade. Pty as far as I know has to do with company registration. I was so confused and do you have any idea how bad it is for a sober person to be so confused? So what did I do, well I had a drink of red wine. About three glasses later I still couldn’t figure it out but I figured if it is important enough they will phone or telepathically communicate or abduct me. So when you message me people, please BUY A VOWEL and put your name at the bottom. 
Don't get me wrong, it's really not that I hate technology and the modern age. I love some of its advantages and it surely has made great things happed in the field of medics and science, but I just feel that it is controlling our lives.One day that kettle that you designed is gonna stand up, flip you over and then fuck you over.

I challenge everyone to this weekend do something old school. Something that does not involve technology. Go have fun!

Mwah!!

Breeding Stupidity

We were sitting outside last night having a glass of red and a smoke with a good friend and one topic lead to another. You see our Bronwyn and I have decided that if she is still without child by age 35, then her and I will have a love child!

So as the topics went along those lines we got to the topic of her lip gloss, that she bought at some or other China shop. Now I have not seen this lip gloss personally but apparently it is very phallic. So sitting at a bar not to long ago with a bunch of friends she proceeds to put on the lip gloss and says something to the effect of “Let me take out my very Phallic lip gloss”

Her one male friend who is apparently a real afrikaaner bulletjie turns around and states that he doesn’t thinkit’s phallic because to him it looks like a penis……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Yes apparently you do get people like that out there. But this brings us to the subject heading. Bronwyn then threw her hands up and screamed “And these people breed!!!”

I think that this should be a major concern for government. This is after all the future of our country that we are talking about. I am not saying that I am the most intelligent person on this planet. On the contrary I am sure that there are many people that are way more intelligent than me.

On the MENSA IQ test I scored a 145 which is according to them entry level genius. I still sometimes doubt it, mostly when my roots are showing (like now). No I don’t mean roots as in where I come from, I mean roots as in I seriously need to dye my hair again. Back to the point

I think everyone should be forced to do an IQ when they hit the age of mental maturity (yes I do realize that this already excludes a shit load of people including just about all of ex lovers/partners) and then of the 50% (if even that much) people that take the test, only those that score a score of mid average and up will be allowed to breed. The rest must get injected with something that will make them sterile forever and a day.

I know that it sounds harsh, but we are busy breeding a race of idiots, who can hardly pronounce the words that they are using in the wrong context in anyway. Again I am not saying that I brightest crayon in the box, on the contrary, but damn you get some people who are really as dumb as dirt. I don’t hold it against them, its not always their fault. But the people who are dumb as dirt and when you want to help them they just show no interest, must fuck off to mars or some desolate place and then they can play Survivor – The Real Game!

In this day and age there is really no excuse for you not be dumb as dirt. We have Google that can tell you the facts of just about anything. But what gets me about these people is the fact that they don’t want to learn anything new. So not only are they stupid they also lazy! Yes lets build a nation with that!

Mwah