How Paul Fits In - Part 6

It is almost a year since I last wrote about how Paul and I got together.  Originally I didn’t want to continue with the story as I thought that the idea was only to write about how we got together. But even Disney makes movies to show you what happens to the happy couple once they end up being together. So here we go.

We left the story where on a very teary Sunday afternoon, Paul left to go back to his terrible job in Burgersfort. He worked for a woman that worked him to the bone and to this day I would still LOVE to meet her to give her a small piece if my mind.

--Driekie, don’t ever mess with a Scorpio’s lover, just some useless info. --

In Burgersfort he had to work out a 2 weeks notice, which I still thought was kak, but he being the sweet nice man that he is, still did it. The problem is that this turned into a month. A month……the longest fucqing month of my life. Of course after he worked out his month he went back to his Parents house in Bethal and there he was for about a two weeks to pack his stuff. In this time period I remember mailing his mother and referring to his parents as Mr and Mrs Joubert. Today his mother is my mommy as well and Mr. Joubert is the only real Dad I have ever had. I love them to bits. Back to the story though.

As you can imagine by this time I lost hope. In my fucqed up mind I thought he was only going to be gone for two weeks. I don’t know why I thought that, but that is what I thought. And every day longer than those initial two weeks that he worked in Burgersfort, started to maybe sound like him making excuses so that he doesn’t have to move down. When he eventually told me that he was at his parents house I told him that I wont bother him there, as it is important that he spends time with them, cuz Goddess alone knows when he will see them again. (Thankfully he didn’t have to wait too long as they came to visit. But that is still to come in the story) If he wanted to speak to me while in Bethal, he had to contact me.

I remember that he didn’t contact me nearly as much as what I wanted him too and this of course made me loose hope even more. I was convinced that he played me for a fool and that I wouldn’t see him again. I was hurt, but more than that I was angry with myself. I had become that thing that I warned people not to become when you Internet date. Whenever he phoned, my heart still leapt. It couldn’t do anything else as I was truly in love with this man. Yes that quickly. I was never a believer in love at first sight until Paul. So I was never rude to him over the phone, but skeptical.

Then one fateful day he phoned me to give me a date. A date that he will be at Cape Town International Airport. Now I will admit that I was in two minds at this point.

Firstly, I was over the moon and for all those that know me from then, you will remember that I started counting the days on Facebook as part of my status.

Secondly, I was worried. What if this was just a lie? I had been lied to many times in the past. What if this was just something to make me shut up.

Thirdly, I was fearful. What happens if this man moves down to Cape Town for me and we clash terribly?

All of this, and more, raced through my mind. Somehow I decided to stay positive. Which isn’t always easy for me, or rather wasn’t always easy for me. But with the help of my friend Skelly, it has become a breeze. So with a positive attitude I started changing the bedroom so that it not only incorporated my loves and interests, but also his. I remember buying this HUGE Japanese fan that formed part of our headboard. I went all out and wanted him to feel that it is also his room, not just mine.

Not too long after, I took a beautiful man from the Airport to our new place.

I just moved into a flat in Edgemead, our first home together. One we shared with another couple, but it didn’t matter as I had my man. I remember him sitting on the edge of the bed with his suitcase and I sat behind him, just holding him. I didn’t want to let go. I was so afraid that I would loose him for another 6 weeks, that I couldn’t let him go. I just held him. To this day I cannot be away from him for long. It drives me crazy to not be with him. I miss him so terribly. If I go to bed I have to touch him. Even if it is just my foot touching his foot, but if he is not sleeping next to me (like when I go to JHB or DBN) I struggle forever to fall asleep and I don’t have as a good nights sleep as what I have next to him. Being away from him makes me cry. Yes and that might sound pathetic and sissy-boy like. Frankly I don’t give a fucq what it sounds like.

I believe that this is all like that, due to that first night that we lived together where I could not stop holding him.

Pink Loerie

Paul and I decided to get away for a few days. We originally went to drop off Wedding invites but that didn’t quite pan out as we expected and on last minute we decided to still go. We took three friends and went to Hartenbos for the weekend. We like to take turns in taking friends there. So each person that means something to us gets to share the magick of Hartenbos with us.  Before we left I made it very clear that we have to leave Hartenbos early on Saturday morning to go to the Sedgefield Farmers Market and Knysna.

At the Market we had yummy breakfast, but me in my infinite wisdom didn’t take a single warm top with for the weekend and it was fucqing cold there at that time. So we walk around the market trying to find a top to buy. Of course I see many ones that I love but they are either too expensive or made to fit my one thigh. One size fits all, my gat. If you don’t mind looking like a Wallmart add, then yes sure, one size fits all. 

We walk past this one guy that is so loud that he has to be gay. Not that he was that loud, to be honest, but no straight guy is ever that loud. He looked at me and said “I like your broek” to which I smiled politely and said thank you. But I didn’t think anything of it. It is a nice broek! Paul made it. 

Eventually I get to a stall that has hippy like clothing that I like and there is a blue top that I like, wel mostly blue. The woman tells me: 

Photo was taken by Martyn Hill

“One size fits all”………..my gemoed sak in my skoene. 

I hear this voice, yes the same voice that liked my broek, saying that if it fits him then he gets it for free. I know I also said at the same time, something about me highly doubting that it will be one size fits all.

Of course the lovely lady who owns the stall tells me to try it on, yes hoping to make a sale. And it fits. She says that it looks good and I say it is only because I am wearing it. Next minute I hear Broeks (that’s just what I am gonna call him from now on, since I don’t know his name) saying I will have one, as he points to me. He then corrects himself and says: 

“I mean the jacket not him, …….but I will buy him too.”met so 'come to daddy smirk' op sy gesig.

I was shocked. One: he had his boyfriend with him (a very handsome Indian looking man), Two: my fiancé is standing right next to me and Three: someone actually hit on me. I think the last one shocked me the most. Here I am, Blond (since I cut off my beautiful long black hair), about 40kgs over weight (no longer fitting into my beautiful clothing), freezing my tits off, no makeup (not even eyeliner) and someone hits on me. I thought, My God what is this world coming to? But I was so shocked that all I could get out was: 

“I am extremely expensive.” I realize now, how this could have been seen as a rude remark but that is honestly not how I meant it.

Another Martyn Hill Photo

So we leave the beautiful town of Sedgefield, to go to the Beautiful town of Knysna. Only to discover that it is the Pink Loerie festival. Now I have never been to any form of gay event. Yes I went to Bronx and Clud 55 and even to the Gat Party, but never to like the Pride or something huge and expansive and parade’s and street parties.   

Oh I went to the Lady Gaga concert, which I suppose is as good as a gay pride parade. But in my young queer life, this was going to be my first parade. Anitici..............pation.

I must just tell you, for those that have never been to the Pink Loerie. This is not a small thing that a few moffies and dikes get together for. Nee meisie. The entire fucqing town gets involved. Its amazing to walk in a town so small and see all the pink and all the gay flags. Everyone, young and old gets into it. The solidarity was amazing. It was wow. 

We go do our shopping and a few hours later 5 very tired friends decides to just have a quick drink at a small restaurant in Knysna, before we go home. At this point not planning to stay for the parade. (Paul mentioning something about the traffic being a bitch if there is a parade)

Chaplin’s Bistro was our destination. I chose it because, to me, it was the best decorated one that I could see. They were kitted out for the Pink Loerie. So we went to go sit just to have a quick drink………………. Now anyone that knows me, should also know that when I am enjoying myself, it is never a quick drink ……………never……………..ever.

The owner of this lovely place came up to us and she told me how glamorous I looked. I was flattered and thankful. Every now and again she came to our table to chat. We (by we I mean I made Riaan do it for me) asked her for one of the chair decors as a souvenir and she happily agreed. The problem is that Riaan looked like a boring straight boy, as a matter of fact that is exactly what I called him. So the table décor became his scarf. What followed next was Paul wanting to put a fake pink rose in Kevin’s hair. But Kevin would only agree to it if we bought him a drink. You see we had to do this because in order for Getanya (Riaans girlfriend) to agree for me to go buy Riaan a toy tiara to put on, she said Kevin must put the flower in the his hair…………So I toddled across the square to the toy shop to get Riaan a tiara after ordering Kevin’s milkshake.

But alas, the toy shop had no Tiara’s. Which yes, I did kak them out for. I mean with all the Queers in town, how could they not have tiara’s. What the Fucq!! However, Zeo does not give up that easily. You all should know that by know right. So I bought him a purple tinsel wig instead. *evil laugh

What we all looked like at that point

Now you are all asking if he put it on………..come on, you should know me better than to ask that sort of question. Like he had a choice. I also bought Paul a flower necklace. So now all of us are pretty much looking like we could be in the spirit of things. Well all of us except for Riaan who looks like a really tired has been boring old porn queen drag act. But then something happened that changed Riaan’s fate. I ordered Bubbly for the table. Great for me, BAD for Riaan. Throughout all of this, Jenny (the wonderful owner of Chaplin’s) is just about kuiering with us. Pretty soon Riaan was topless and his scarf became a halter neck boob choop. My blue snood (type of scarf) came off and was magically transformed into a mini skirt for Riaan. I felt like the fairy godmother in Cinderella. I transformed a really tired has been boring old porn queen drag act into Mz. Pink Loerie. Well he wasn’t a boring straight boy anymore. Hehehehehe.

Mz. Pink Loerie and Jennie in orange

So at three we decide to go and join the crowd for the parade. Ons gaan nou parade kyk. And I have to tell you it was interesting. Some really hot boys some really old boys, some young some not so hot. Some bears and some twinks. Good Drag Queens and bad Drag Queens and lots of Drag Queens whom I would like to contact to teach them how to walk properly on heels, without letting the ankle shake that much. 

Who comes walking past us in the parade, handing out the Pink Tongue (This is a LGBT newspaper {to whom I will mail this blog}), Broeks!! I was nogal upset with him. Wants to buy me in Sedgefield, but doesn’t even offer me a spot in the parade. It is so over between us. Hehehehehehehehe ;) ag just kidding Broeks, I still luv you!

After Getanya got me a Pink Loerie T-Shirt (Please don’t ask) and Riaan got felt up by lots and lots of guys wanting his photo, yes I am being serious, we decided to go back to Hartenbos and enjoy a quiet night by the fire. 

Thank you to everyone that made my first (and hopefully not the last) Pink Loerie so memorable. Love you all

Mwah!

P.S. Yes I did buy the mostly blue top. I am wearing it in the photo!

Wedding Jitters

I have been extremely quiet lately. Wedding jitters…..I think. So I decided that I would tell you about my wedding jitters. Maybe it will somehow help me to cope with it all.

13 July 2013

Well firstly you have to understand that this is the second time I am doing this. My mother (Goddess rest her soul) was married 5 times. I am 30 and going on number two. So yes just a little freaked out about that. Paul’s parents are so wonderful together and they are first time wedders. ( I just made that phrase up. It means to still be married in your first and only marriage, that is happy.) Oh look at me rewriting the Dictionary.

How many people can say that they are still first time wedders? But taking it further, I am Paul’s first relationship. Not his first sex (skank has had a few shags before me and I constantly reminding him that any bitch before me was a mistake) but his first relationship……ever.  Now how many people do you know that is still first wedders with their first time partner….yea suddenly it seems all a bit unreal doesn’t it.

But like any little girl (who the fucq am I kidding), I have been planning my BIG day for a long time. You know all of that is actually a lie, but I have been imagining what it would be like to plan a wedding where I actually have a say in what is happening. Pretty unreal I know. And what is great is that Paul is letting me run with the ideas. Yes I run everything past him first and if doesn’t like it then we don’t do it. Even the designs on the invites. But I feel like I am planning the fairytale wedding and he is just cool with it, His same calm self. 

“When a prince meets another prince and they fall in love they have the ability to live happily ever after. First they gotta see who is the top and who is the bottom and if there is a versatile in one of them. It helps if they both have nice asses and crotches. Eye candy is always good. Of course there is also.....you know what let me just say that gay relationships are fucqing difficult.”

Side tracking way too much!Hmmmm nice crotch......

Most of the things are done. It is just all the small things now that we are trying to sort out and then putting all of those small things together to make our magickal day work. Oh and the be damned cash bar! I am at wits end between them and Govermunt. Jirre.

So far, everyone but Mirelle (and what does she know with her hillbilly pallet), loves the invites. We worked very hard on them and it seems that everyone liked them. Yes I know that it is not about the people and that it is only about Paul and myself coming together, but you don’t want anyone to look at the invites and be as judgemental as what I know I can be. “Oh my god, this looks cheap and home made. Could they not at least just have cut straight. This is tacky.”

Yes those are things that I would say. Yes I am judgemental and superficial and sometimes plastic. One of my gay friends told me that it is a fags prerogative to be like that. I have embraced it. The first rule of magick is “Know Thyself”  :)

I will admit and have to give it to him. Paul, as I have stated may times before, is King of Procrastination. No one can procrastinate like he can. Well apparently his dad can and that is where Paul gets it from, but that is gossip between me and my Bethal Mommy.

But while planning the Wedding he has been on the ball. He really has amazed me and shown me that he can do things quickly. Yes this might come to bite him in the ass later on, but we will deal with that later, when it happens, hehehehehehe.

Right now our main concern is getting someone to make the cake for us at a price that we can afford. Getting enough carpets and pillows and finalizing the Table Décor. Of course we still have to find the perfect ribbon to use to tie our hands with as well. It has to be perfect and not just any old piece of shit.  But that is pretty much all in my area of influence. Paul’s biggest task is to sort the bar people out and then we need to write the ritual and get a rehearsal in before the time as well. Did I mention we have two months and 10 days before the BIG DAY?!

Oh I almost forgot. So far we are getting married wearing only a jacket and shoes. The rest of our outfits also still has to be done. Is it any wonder as to why I am freaking out just a little bit here?

Again, I know that the day is not about everyone else. I know it is only about us and that we should enjoy this planning process. Yes even though I agree with all of that, I still want this day to be just about as close to perfect as what it can possibly be. It is going to be THE event of the year.

I am trying to think of my vows and what it is that I will say to Paul in ritual. I cannot think of one solid explanation that could ever encompass just how much, how deeply and how truly I love him. He is my entire world and without him I don’t want anything anymore. Nothing is worth it, if I cant share it with him…..Oooohhh that was good, let me remember that for when I do write my vows.

makes a mental note

Not that mental notes help, considering how mental I am. Yes by mental I do mean completely and utterly fucqed in the head. But I have to tell you that being psycho does have it’s advantages and can be a lot of fun.

Well I am gonna try to write more and not let the Wedding give me jitters anymore. Till we chat again.

Mwah!