Three's a ........... fun time?

Times are changing. Since the 24^th of February I have been going through what can only be described as a dark night of the soul. I am looking at things again and trying to figure out if what I am doing with this life is actually worth it. The only fact that I do have about life in general is this:

“This life, or any other one for that matter, does not come with an instruction manual.”

We just have to do the best with what we have and try to make it a life worth living. In this dark night of the soul, that I have been going through, I have been faced with so many things from my past that I need to deal with, make peace with. Now I have tried to fit in. Goddess knows I have done anything just to be ‘normal’. I am sure you recall the story of the Granny crossing herself when walking past me, even when I looked completely normal. We have had this discussion on normality before, and I am sorry guys, but I am still not the normal person.

Here is the only fact that know about my life

“It will never be normal and mundane and I will never do things the way as it ‘should’ be done”

Not because I blatantly defy mainstream, but just because I cannot be anything other but me and in order for me to be me, I will always stand out like a sore thumb. My point here is just to make you aware that my life is different and that it is not the same as yours and that you wont agree with all I do, but it stays my blog and my life. So if you don’t like it, then don’t read it.

On this note, Paul and I have decided to explore our sexuality in a couple setting. I know that this doesn’t make sense, so let me explain. Paul and I are both very young still, in the bigger scheme of things of course. Paul is my first official boyfriend. Yes I have had gay flings before him when my ex wife and I separated, but he is my first real gay relationship.

I am Paul’s first relationship. He has been with other men but I am his first relationship of any sort. He has never even kissed a woman let alone been in a relationship with one. So we are both pretty new to this and for those of you that think that a relationship is the same, straight or gay. Well let me tell you, I personally find that there is a huge, no wait, HUGE difference between the two.  The dynamic changes completely. But back to my point, we are both pretty new at this and even though we have both been with other guys our sexual experience list in the area of gay sex, is not that long. There are lots that we still want to experience. But how do you do this in a couple?

Well we have decided that the couple that plays together is the couple that stays together. So, ok this is the spot where my mother in law should stop reading hehehehehe, we have decided to look for someone that can be a friend to us and then maybe this can evolve to friends with benefits. Yes sexual benefits.

Yes I have had all the warnings from all of the friends that are really close to me, which is very little people, and its not that I want to undermine you all but firstly, this is our choice and we are doing what we feel is best. And if you think that our relationship can’t last something like this, then think again. We have already been through it three times. The first time the guy liked me more than Paul and felt it better to leave. The second time the guy liked me more than Paul and wanted to break us up, we kicked him goodbye. The third one was just making things difficult for Paul and myself as a unit, so we ended that as well. Its not that we give half measures when we give, we are just also aware of the fact that we are a unit.

Recently we met a guy. He is a nice guy and we really like him, like really like him. He is good looking and he actually likes both of us. The bonus is that when we asked him whom Florence Nightingale was he didn’t know. That’s not good, but even though he didn’t know he wanted to know and asked about her and read up. This means he is not brain dead lemming and we can actually have a conversation with him.

Nothing sexual has happened. And it is not that anyone is planning for it. Besides something that we didn’t plan on is happening already between the three of us. But maybe that should be left for a later entry. The reason I am mentioning this to you all is that you will probably read a different name here every now and again. And I know how people are.

“Oh My God he is cheating on Paul” Gossip gossip gossip. No one is cheating. We are all consenting adults.

So watch this space people, things are gonna get interesting, whether for better or worse, I don’t know? Obviously we don’t want it to be for the worse and we are trying everything in our power for it go for the better, but who knows what the future will hold?

Mwah!

Skoonheid

Last night we watched the movie called ‘Skoonheid’. It is the first South African film that professes to deal with homosexual issues. This film was also the first South African film ever to win a Cannes Award. So with much anticipation we sat down to watch Skoonheid. …………..

………………

I bought this movie brand new. Not at Cash Crusaders like I buy so many movies. I payed close to R200 at Look and Listen for this movie. Yes I completely regret it. It was an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back again. You expect to see a movie about a forbidden love that cannot be and that ends with duty and lots of tears.

Deon Lotz

Well the main character, Francois van Heerden (Played by Deon Lotz) is a typical Afrikaner male with two daughters a wife and his own wood business. What you find out about him is that he also goes to meetings. At these meetings, butch manly Afrikaner boerre men get together and drink beer. They say that at these meetings they don’t allow ‘moffies’ or ‘colourds’, oh and then they have sex with each other. But that I can still understand. I have so often heard of straight men that has gay sex from time to time, yet they are apparently not gay.

Francois then starts to get obsessed about a boy. Christian (played by Charlie Keegan) is a law student and the child of Francois’s oldest friend. But Christian lives in Cape Town and Francois in JHB. So Francois goes on a “business” trip to Cape Town. He of course lies to his wife without feeling ashamed because she herself is cheating on him, and he knows this.

Charlie Keegan

In Cape Town he makes sure that he gets invited to his friends house so that he may see Christian. And so Francois starts to stalk Christian. But one night Francois goes to the Bronx Bar (which used to be a gay club in town, sadly it closed down) where he gets trashed. He then phones Christian to come and help him to get to his hotel room. At the Hotel room Francois ends up raping Christian, rather violently actually.

The movie ends not to long after that when Francois is sitting alone in the Spur and orders a Coke and a Burger. For about 5 minutes they show how he stares at a gay couple sitting in the Spur and then the movie ends. 

Okay I have to admit that reading it here now it seems like a rather good movie. But it really wasn’t, not at all!!.

Oliver Hermanus

The dialog is just about non existent and not very deep. The acting, even though good is just somehow ……….. not good enough. The creator, Oliver Hermanus, clearly was also a big fan of Brokeback Mountain as this film also has these long pauses on just stuff that doesn’t really have anything to do with the movie, like landcapes. The problem with this is that it worked in Brokeback Mountain. But now it’s been done and you just look like you are trying to re-create a brilliant story of Love. But if you are looking for Love in this film then you have the wrong film. This film is about oppression and forcing others to like you. It’s about obsession and lust wrapped with guilt. Not even in his marriage is there an ounce of Love.

My fear about this movie is that it is not going to paint a positive image for the gay community. I can just see a kerk tannie go “See, I told you! They are all a bunch of perverts and rapists”, and according to the imagery that this movie creates, she will be 100% correct. But don’t take my word for it, rent it and watch it for yourself. Maybe I just don’t have the mental capacity to get it. Maybe I was expecting too much, to see a story of two men, who due to circumstances, cannot Love each other.  But maybe that is just because I am a hopeless romantic!

The Makings of a Teacher

By the year of 1998 I had devoured all I could find about Paganism. The Country was a different place back then. Everyone seemed to always be angry. We had just come out of the time period of Apartheid. We were moving forward yet somehow no one was happy about this. Everyone feared everyone else and everywhere you went certain people were associated with certain wrongs. Whites, Black and Colourds, no one was safe from each other. Well at least in the minds of the people this was very true.

Prior to 1994 you could not find a book on Paganism in any bookshop. That’s only 18 years ago. That’s how young this country really is. We knew we were different. We didn’t go to church, we didn’t believe in the one true God. We loved the moon and knew that we had past lives and that the two of us were connected in at least two previous lifetimes. And so we believed in many other things that Pagans believe in. But we didn’t know what to call it or that we should even call it something.

It is roughly in this time of serious oppression, oppression against race and sex and sexuality, oppression of religion, freedom as whole and even our thoughts, that a friend of my mother brought a Pagan book from over seas.

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner – Scott Cunnigham

We obviously could not buy the book and so we copied it. Two copies. One for each of us. We devoured the book. Read it over and over. Also we did not have internet access at home and research was limited. Not to long after that mother got her hands on another book. Goddess knows where she got it.

The Complete Book of Witchcraft – Raymond Buckland.

Not too long after that a shop was discovered in city centre. The shops was Wizards. They still exist today but they have moved from Pickbell Parkade to Stadium on Main in Claremont. They had Pagan books. Hellishly expensive for us, since we were never wealthy people who had money to just throw around. But slowly but surely we built up a few books.

So then a few years after that in 1998 in mid April I was sitting on my bed and teaching to people about Paganism/Wicca. I had no idea if what I was doing was correct or that I was even good at it, all I knew is that I knew that this is what I truly wanted to do. This felt right and somehow it felt familiar. None of that has changed. I still don’t think that I am a particularly wonderful teacher. But I love doing it! The course back then was about 24 pages long. Now just module 3 of First Degree is 42 pages. It’s 14 years later. Next year it will be 15 years. At the end of this year I am turning 30. So next year this time I have quite literally given half of my life in service to my Goddess, my God and my Community. Sometimes it feels like less and then sometimes it feels like so much more. But I don’t regret it. Not a single day of it. I look at photo’s of the students and myself, they look truly happy and as cliché as what this may sound, that makes me happy. 

Mwah!!!

Zeomort or......He Who Must Not Be Named

You know when I was growing up my mom used to say “if people talk about you, good or bad, it’s a good thing. It’s when they stop talking about you that you should worry” As a very young lad I didn’t quite get this. Growing up, now I understand that it is based on the same principal as “there is no such thing as bad publicity”.

For some reason though there are an amount of people that find it extremely interesting to gossip about me. You know I am flattered and all, but I also feel kinda sad for these people. If they so love to gossip about my boring little life, can you imagine how fucking boring and absolutely hollow their lives are.

The latest thing that gets gossiped about is the fact that I do dark magick and practice necromancy. So I am just quickly gonna clear the air so we can all at least just gossip about the facts. You know that’s the least you can do, you pathetic turd.

So firsty please define dark magick. If by that you mean that I do not follow the Wiccan Rede, then duh!! I don’t claim to be Wiccan. I don’t adhere to the moral guidelines of the Wiccan Rede as I believe, like any guidelines one should eventually have the brain capacity to grow beyond it. I also do not fully agree with the golden rule of ‘An ye harm none, do as ye will’. If someone breaks into my house, kills my cats and starts beating up my husband, do you expect me to fold my arms and apologize to my husband for not helping him because the Wiccan Rede says I am not allowed to do any harm. Screw that, I will take the bastard out.

I have never killed an animal ritual, to date. If I attend an African ritual (like the Twasa of a Sangoma) where I am to slaughter a chicken for the ritual, then I will do it. No Issues. Don’t tell me it’s wrong. Their faith is as Pagan as yours and dates back hundreds and hundreds of years, who the hell do you think you are to tell them that its dark and evil. Practice what you preach doos. If you mean by dark magick that Invoke demons to do my bidding then I am afraid you are also a bit confused as I don’t really even believe in Demons. I believe that we make our own demons and angels by how we live. So if you are having shit in your life and you say it’s due to a demon that I sent you, 1- I really hardly have time to make love to my husband, do you honestly think I am going to waste what little time I have on someone as small as you and 2- Go look at your own life idiot cuz Karma is a bitch. The Christians have a lovely quote about removing the boulder from your own eyes before trying to remove the pebble from someone else’s.

If you mean by dark magick that I protect my kith and kin and what I hold dear to me. Then yes, I am guilty as charged. Tell me if you are a martial arts master, will you not use that to defend your kith and kin and what you hold near and dear? If you are a boxer, will you not do the same? And if you were an archer, a cop, a lawyer? So what’s the difference? Like everyone else I am using the craft that I am trained in to protect and defend my kith and kin and what I hold near and dear.

Oh then lets not forget about the accusation of Necromancy. I confess that since I was little a boy I could see and speak to things that other people could not. No I cannot do this on demand, it just kind of happens. I don’t know if you want to call these things or people, ghosts or spirits or whatever, but I see them and talk to them. I have also used the Ouija board many many times and have done so while teaching others to do the same. I also have guided living people through the use of fortune telling more times than what I care to count. 

John Dee & Edward Kelly Invoking a Spirit

If you have no idea what I am talking about here then you are clearly as dumb as dirt and as pathetic as the bullshit that comes from your mouth. Because that is what Necromancy is defined as. You can look it up in a dictionary or even on Wikipedia. 

"In the present day, necromancy is more generally used as a term to describe the pretense of manipulation of death and the dead, often facilitated through the use of ritual magic or some other kind of occult ceremony. Contemporary séances, channeling, Spiritism and Spiritualism verge on necromancy when supposedly invoked spirits are asked to reveal future events or secret information. Necromancy may also be presented as sciomancy, a branch of theurgic magic."

So really, you ignorant little fuck, go and educate yourself before you try to accuse someone of something that you don’t even know what the fuck it means.

Yes people, here you have it now, straight from the uncles mouth. Now maybe at least you can try to practice factual gossip. Have a nice day. I don't mean to insult people that truly did not know what Necromancy means and didnt talk kak everywhere they go. This Blogg is aimed at those that will now feel offended because I call them dumb fucks and then start gossipping about how rude I am. At least that too is a fact. I am rude to people who gossip.

Mwah!!

Drie Honderd

I just have to make this post. I didn't do create this video. As a matter of fact I don't even know the people that did but it is surely the funniest thing I have seen this year. You simply have to watch it. You can search for it on youtube.com as well. 

It is in Cape Flats afrikaans and your volume has to be pretty loud to hear eaxactly what they are saying, but please, do yourself the favour and watch it. 

Everythime I watch this the tears roll down my face from all the laughing. To the guys that made this, if you ever even see this post, thank you for this. It is so funny that it just cheers me up whenever I need an little cheering up.

Mwah

Ones of the West

We have all seen movies such as ‘The Little Mermaid’ wondering how grand life has to be as an underwater sea creature. Being able to breathe underwater and having practically almost no gravitational set backs ahs been a dream that has captivated millions of people. The first distinction that has to be made is that there are really four types of creatures that loosely fall in the mermaid category. We will take a look at each of these four “aspects” of mermaids.

1. Mermaids

Most, if not all, cultures have historical tales to tell about mermaids. Although merman has apparently also been sighted by sailors, it remains mostly a feminine tale and a powerful one at that. In ancient Mediterranean cultures, mermaids were seen as semi-divine aspects of the ultimate Goddess due to the connection with the sea from which all life comes. They were honoured in seaside Temples. One of the earliest stories of these creatures comes from the land of Assyria at about 1000 BCE. Atagartis, an Assyrian priestess, apparently jumped into the sea to rid herself of the shame for having an unwanted pregnancy. She rose from the sea as a fish tailed Goddess. In the second century BCE, the Greek historian Lucian, reported that the statue that represented the great Goddess at the Temple of Hieropolis had the tail of a fish instead of human legs. Also in Greece, Aphrodite was born of the sea foam and rode to the shore on half a scallop shell which automatically also linked her to these creatures. By the first century CE the historian Pliny wrote that mermaids did most certainly exist but their bodies were completely scaled and very rough. However this description only lasted till the Fifth century CE, when the bestiary Physiologus, described mermaids in the contemporary way as we know them today. Having the body of a beautiful maiden from the navel up with the tail of a fish. During the middle ages mermaids were frequently sighted by all types of seamen including Christopher Columbus, who apparently spotted three of them on his journey to the Americas in 1493. Some say that what he might have seen was in actual fact Manatee’s which are marine creatures that cradle their young in their arms like humans. Mermaids often featured in the lore of sailors. The most well known them would be a tale of warning featuring mermaids that would seduce sailors and take them to their underwater lair, never to be seen again. They were also believed to cause storms and shipwrecks when they were provoked. The church of Rome, during the dark ages, reinforced these tales and said that mermaids were the symbols of vanity, lust, the spiritual perils of woman and of sexuality.

Even though all the myths relating to mermaids seem like far off dreams it is not exactly the case. Until the nineteenth century there was still a law on the statute book, decreeing that any mermaid found in British waters was the property of the Crown.

2. Nereids

One of the creation myths of the Greek Isle’s says that the union of Oceanus, the Earth-encircling river and Tethys, the fertile ocean produced three thousand daughters who had the task of protecting the depths. One of these daughters, Doris, and the ancient sea God, Nereus were the parents of the Nereids.

Nereids were similar creatures who guarded over bodies of freshwater such as springs, lakes and rivers.

These beautiful women rode naked through the waves of the Aegean and other salt water season the backs of creatures such as dolphins, giant sea horses and other marine life creatures.

Unlike mermaids, Nereids were said to be friendly and protective of sailors. They were also believed to be able to predict storms and guide sailors to good fishing grounds. The two most famous Nereids in all of history were Thetis, the  mother of the Greek hero Achilles and Galatea, beloved by the Cyclops Polyphemus. Galatea rejected the advances of the Cyclops and was attracted to a young beautiful shepherd boy. Polyphemus was raged when he heard of this and hurled a boulder that crushed the poor shepherd boy. Grief stricken Galatea turned the trickling blood of the boy that she loved into a river so that she may forever swim his waters.

3. Naiads

Similar in appearance to the Nereids, the Naiads guarded over the same areas as Naiads but they also guarded over brooks and fountains. Like mermaids they are bound to water. Should their bodies dry out they will die. Naiads were often worshipped in early cults as fertility Goddesses. The consumption of water that was guarded by Naiad was thought to bring prophetic visions and also had healing properties.

Unlike Nereids, Naiads were could also be dangerous and seductive. Hylas, a handsome young man that was part of the of Argonauts who accompanied Jason on his quest to retrieve the Golden Fleece, was kidnapped by Naiads of a spring in Asia Minor and was never seen again. Other European feminine water spirits such as the Germanic Rhinemaidens, the Switzerland Nixes, the French Melusine and the Celtic holy well spirits are all descended from Naiads.

4. Selkies

These legendary creatures originate in Ireland, Scotland and Iceland. Generally speaking these creatures are thought of as being seals that can transform themselves into human beings, usually young beautiful women. In the dialect of Scotland’s Orkney Isles, Selch means seal. Stories that entail these creatures usually end up in tragedy.

A lonely fisherman came a group of selkeis that were out of their seal skins and taking a sun bath on the rocks. He stole the seal skin of one of the girls, forcing her to stay on land and become his wife. It is said that their children had webbed fingers and toes. But not even the love of her children could stop her from looking for her seal skin. When she found it she left her human husband desolate and returned to the sea. Another legend says that if the wife of a fisherman would shed seven tears into the sea, a handsome selkie male would emerge from the water and make passionate love to her. The true meaning of this tale is of course allegorical. Reminding us that the true nature of any creature cannot be hidden forever.

Seals can often be mistaken for human beings swimming in the ocean until they disappear beneath the surface. This is likely to be where this myth originated from.

Generally speaking the image of the mermaid holding her hand held mirror while combing her hair is a symbol of vanity. In so many myths mermaids are seen giving up their natural states for a taste of mortality and true love. The mermaid can thus also be symbol of true love. However at Ephesus their exists what is believed to be the worlds first advertisement. The three symbols that are carved on the slab are a finger pointing, a coin and a mermaid. This is apparently an advertisement for a brothel. The mermaid being the prostitute.

No matter the meaning of the mermaid, it has been an image that has captured the human mind since almost the dawn of time. At one stage just about everyone wanted to either be one or be with one.

Oh Elizabeth

For those of you that know me, you will know that I am completely besotted with the life of the First Queen Elizabeth of England: the Virgin Queen.

Last night I started to watch a two part BBC series on her life, starring Helen Mirren, Jeremy Irons and Hugh Dancy. Interestingly enough Helen Mirren is the only actress ever to play both Elizabeths of England in two different movies. Both of these Queens have led astonishing lives and have proven to be great leaders and even better women.

The Speech of Tilbury as spoken by the First Elizabeth was written down as the following:

“My loving people

We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit our selves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear. I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood even, in the dust.

I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm; to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.

I know already, for your forwardness you have deserved rewards and crowns; and We do assure you in the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean time, my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble or worthy subject; not doubting but by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valour in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.”

This speech was delivered on the 19^th of August 1588 by the Queen, when she left the fort at Tilbury to stand among her people as they were preparing to fight the Spanish Armada. In my opinion this speech clearly shows how great a person this was.

Phillip of Spain declared holy war on England and he did not come to the battle. He was in Spain, not anywhere near the battle. Elizabeth was among her soldiers, ready for battle, should the Armada defeat her ships.

I look at today’s leaders, Political, Religious, Work, Social, Recreational, myself included and I cannot help but ask, where are they? I would like to think that I am amongst my people, helping them with everything, every step of the way. But Who am I to make judgment like that.

Mwah!!!