The New Road

My Dearest Readers

I am afraid that I owe you an apology. I have sent you on a roller-coaster ride of expectancies when it came to me blogging regularly. I promised you something that I was not able to deliver. For that I am eternally sorry.

Life has taken some weird and unexpected turns. Yes, Paul and I are still together and still very happy and very much in love, before you start freaking out about that. As a matter of fact, he has been the only constant in my daily life and I cannot imagine what this world was like B.P. (Before Paul) I know that all people probably or rather most people, say that they have the best husband or at least partner in the world, but when it comes to my Paul, I most certainly nabbed the best one. Sorry for the rest of you.

Due to the changes that has happened in my life, this blog has been ........ almost the last piece that needs to either follow me into the undiscovered country or be left in the depths of the earth under the sea of black from which I have journeyed. I realise that this sounds overly dramatic, but if you know me, you would know that I have a flair for it and even if you do know me, you won’t know what I have been going through. You see I come from a generation of strong women (not that I am one). Women that taught us to suck it up and carry on because the entire world has problems and no one is interested in taking time out to listen to your shitty story. No, this is not a reflection on what I think of you my friends and family. I can see people all over the world saying “but I am always there for you.” I realise that and I am eternally grateful for it. But some things just have to be done alone. Things like staring death in the eyes because you no longer feel the need or the want to carry on and even if you did, you do not know how to carry on.

Back to my point. I thought about what to do with this blog. Should I stop it all together and delete it, just like one more of those things in life for which I actually started and did not intend to finish or follow through? Was I going to start a new blog that was more clean cut and acceptable to all peoples? I had no idea. Then last night I was watching ‘Julie & Julia’ and it somehow inspired me. At first it inspired me to cook and bake up a storm. Then I remembered that can’t do either and that I am on the Tim Noakes ‘Real meal revolution’ eating plan. So scrap that idea. But this blog came back to mind. I went to bed having one revelation upon the other. No not all about the blog, I mean seriously how many revelations can one have about a blog? But revelations about my life and what I have been through. Dreams that I have had almost ten years ago suddenly made sense and no I wasn’t on something strong. As a matter of fact it was before I took my evening valium. That little miracle pill that allows me to sleep. Ok, those 4 little miracle pills that allows me to sleep.

I have decided to carry on with the blog. For those of you that have been reading and following I thank you so much. Whether or not I know you, you are part of what is giving me the courage to carry on. Yes even the hate mailers. But to be honest, I want to keep on writing as I really enjoy it and I do not think that I will be able to start a new blog. Remember that little technology issue that I have. You know, the issue of being a techno retard. So I kind of have to keep the blog if I want to carry on writing. My next choice was to delete all previous blog entries so that this is a clean new start. I thought that since we will be moving into our new home in about three months, which is a clean new start, that maybe the blog should reflect that. But then I remembered my dear American friend, Anne Rice’s words. This blog was all part of my journey. It is what got me to this point in my life. This blog is my personal Vampire Chronicles and just as Anne refused to denounce them I refuse to denounce or deny mine. Susan Boyle sings a song “Who I was meant to be”. The chorus goes:

“And though I may not know the answers,

I can finally say I am free.

And if the questions led me here,

Then I am who I was born to be”

That is kind of how I feel about this blog and so many other things. Well in a manner of speaking of course. For those of you that love my funny stories, I cannot promise you that I will be writing much of them. I don’t know if I will be writing only serious stories or even spiritual stories. I do not know which issues I shall be addressing. I can promise you though, that the journey will continue. I am now a full time Arch-Priest. I work for myself. I see clients for readings and healings and spells and so on. I have been told by a few that this is unwise. So what? Most people have been at my back for most of it and so far it is going wonderfully. I am using my skills in what I love, to earn an honest living. I cannot see how that is wrong. My life has become my business. How weird is that? But also, how awesome is that? The blog will reflect a lot about this. My musings and thoughts.

Yes I do secretly, no screw it, I openly hope that some editor of some printing house spots this blog and falls in love with it and approaches me to write for them or even transform this blog into a book. Who knows what the future holds? Twelve years ago I was dreaming about the day that I could own a house, a car, be married to the most amazing  person on the planet, have an awesome family (blood, in-laws and spiritual) and be a full time witch. It seemed an impossible task. Now, I am living that dream. Being a published writer seemed just as distant and that also has happened. A book somehow seems very possible right now.

So here is my pledge to you. I promise to write as often as I can. I have more time on hand now. On the days that I am not seeing clients or temple members or new members or family or friends, I will write. I write my ass off for you. I will share my thoughts and life with all of you. Here is what I want in return though, surely you didn't think you can own a piece of me for free. Share this page with everyone. Join, subscribe to it. Distribute it. Let it reach every inch of this Earth. Somewhere an editor is waiting for it. Hahahahahahahaha.

Thank you all so much for sticking it out with me, even during times that I have been a royal cunt.

I love you all so much

xxx