Thursday 22 December 2011

2 People per Trolley


We are walking in jingle bell rock at this time of year. We are getting three kinds of shit beaten out of us by the Drummer Boy's drum. And while we just try to do normal food shopping in a nut house called a Pay 'n Pay we have to listen how Santa will only make a turn to our house, if we are on the nice list. Santa, you can come suck my ......... everyone just seems to be in such a happy mood. 'Tis the season to be jolly fra-la-la-la pppfffffttt.
Well fuck that. I hate this time of year. As it is I am not a fan of people, the ones I don't know and even a few I do know. I can tolerate them and be nice but if you are walking in the shop at this time of year and the entire fucking family is walking in front of you (and by entire I mean at least three generations), at a pace that would be able to be beaten by a snail, then I want to do my nut. What I do not understand, is that we all know what the shops look like during this time of year. You know it's going to be like a race for the last choc chip cookie in the orphanage. Choas, Disorder, mayhem, kids screaming for that last toy, moms screaming at dads for not giving them suficient help and and and. 
Why then do you take your entire family with you for Christmas shopping?
Are the presents not supposed to a surprise for everyone? Is an imaginary fat man not supposed to break into your house at midnight, eat your last choc chip cookie and drink your milk and then leave the gift for you? Here people like me have to deal with screaming kids, old people that has a Zimmer frame, young kids snogging and parents that are all over the sow. It annoys me. Just think how much better your shopping experience will be if you just go to the shop alone. Without anyone bitching around you. Imagine if we could all do that. Two people per trolley, max. Oh it would be a dream come true.

Mwah!!

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