Marvels Mightiest Heroe

I was an awkward kid. Awkward not because I got bullied or shit like that but awkward because I didn’t really fit anywhere. Something I think that is still the truth even as an adult. I seem to be able to only tick one or two items and the boxes that we as humans have to classify ourselves with.

When I was nine years old I discovered The X-Men. Before then I had read comics but that is all they were, comics, fun things to read as a kid. But when I was 9 I came to realise that comics were more than just fun things to read. As such I discovered what Marvel truly is and got to realise and “know” the man behind it. Stan Lee.

Some of the meanest people I have ever met.

I know a lot of people. I have been around the block and because of my involvement in the Pagan community I have met the most fantastic people. I have even met with Jewish diplomats when attending a talk at the Holocaust Museum. The journey has been incredible. The bridges I have built between Pagans and non-Pagans could in and of itself become a book. The shit I have had to endure all for the sake of Paganism (volk en nasie, as Darkwolf used to say), the things I have had to do and the hate mail I have received.

But let me tell you a secret. The most backstabbing, distrusting, vengeful people I have met on my journey, has been South African Pagans. Now of course I am not talking about all of them. I have met some incredible people that are Pagan in this country. True Pagans as I like to call them. But for very one of those there are three that are just not worth it. I am not pretending to be an angel here, but hear me out. 

You Do Not Own Your Psychic

Let me start by saying that as a general rule, I do not like the word psychic. It’s one box that I really don’t want to be in. There are many labels that I will gladly wear but psychic is not one of them. I read the Tarot, I somehow see things (sometimes) that others cannot and somehow know things that I am not supposed to. How I do this, I don’t know and I don’t particularly care about the how or the why of it. But for ease of this blog let me just grin and bare it and use the word psychic.

The Hanger Games

Where have all the real men gone?

A friend of mine has expressed her hatred towards straight men. Her and I have spoken about it. No she is not a bra burning liberal right wing lesbian feminist with bigger balls than all of us put together. She is actually a very feminine woman married to a wonderful man. I have been looking at why she is saying it, which is something I will share with you all shortly, and I must confess that I see her point. I don’t hate straight men. Goodness how could I. Not while Jason Mamoa is still batting for that team, but I do see what she means.

Trackers for Jesus

If you do not have a sense of humour please do not read this blog. I need to also state that I have no problems or issues with Christ. It is his fan base however that has the ability to piss me off more than a leaky gas pipe in Auschwitz. Even though I am Pagan, I also have a sense of humour and when someone jokes about my spirituality I can laugh with them. Because humour, I think, should actually be everyone’s first spirituality. Lastly let me also point out that it is my fucqing blog and technically therefore I can say on here whatever the fucq I want. With all those disclaimers out of the way, let’s get to it.

Oog Druppels

Ek het 4 tattoos en op n stadium het ek 11 piercings gehad. Huidiglik het ek 9. Ek hou van n goeie adrenalin rush en spoed. Ek het steke in my kop gehad, myself al so in my moer geval dis nie eens snaaks nie, velle van my rug af getrek soos ek op die teer my gat gesien het. My punt is, ek is al deur baie en ek kan redelik baie hanteer wanneer dit kom by my liggaam.

Daar is alhoewel een deel van my liggaam wat nie n vok hou van weird kak nie. My oë. Eyeliner of soos dit mos nou genome word guyliner en mascara is al wat jy naby my oë kan bring.

Facebook Overshare

I share a lot of shit on this blog, mostly because it is entertaining. But I also feel

that there is such a thing as over share. Maybe it’s just me, but I was raised in a house where some things are just personal. We were also taught from a young age, that to wash your dirty laundry in public is common.  You might not have money but you do have your dignity and all that. Because of this I am also not a person that can share a bathroom with my husband. We will shower together or bath together like any normal couple, but that is where I draw the line. I have never been one of those people that can brush my teeth while my husband (or any of my previous partners for that matter) is using the loo. It is fucqing disgusting. Nee sies man. Bathroom time is private time. Back to my point.

Feed Me Pauley

2017 has brought a drastic change in our house. Paul started to blog. I know that on the surface this seems like a really minor thing. How bad can it be…? Well Sir…You all recall that Paul is a qualified chef…? His blog is about food and coffee and tea. Those three things happen to be on my list of top 10 things in life that I like the most.

Heilige Waarheid

Ek wil julle graag neem op n denkbeeldige rys. ‘n Rys wat afspeel in ‘n tyd toe die land nog kerklik was en die lewe “makliker”. Laat ons nou ons tassies pak en op die rit gaan waar jy jouself in die hoof karakter se skoene plaas. Hier gaan ons ‘n moderne ervaring hê van dit wat rerig gebeur in hierdie las lappie land van ons. ‘n Land waar elke person geregtig is op hulle eie droom, maak nie saak hoe kak die droom is nie en waar ons ook die reg het om daardie droom in ander se keel gate af te dwing. 

Vlogging... Vlog You!

June Brown

I have been asked to do vlogs...

I made a few recordings, deleted them all. I really tried. I played around with lighting and angles, trying to capture my “best” side, but failed fucqing miserably. June Brown (for those of you who don’t know her, she is an amazing British actress) recently taught me that one should never read your own work back to oneself. Maybe that was the flaw in my vlogs. I would watch the video after I have made it, criticise the shit out of it, get frustrated with myself and then delete it.

Mad World

One morning, not too long ago, a few weeks to be exact. I wake up, say my gratitude’s and proceed to read the morning news, as I do every day. See it is good to make a list of what you are grateful for before reading the news. It kinda helps you through it.

What do I see on every single page? Cecil the Lion.

Cecil the lion

The Real Evil Queen

I am busy watching a series called ‘Once Upon a Time’. Love it. It took me a few episodes to get into it, but once I got into it there was no turning back. Of course one of the main things that sold it for me was the fact that the main antagonist (The Evil Queen) is actually a leading lady and doesn't die. May I just also say that @LanaParrilla you are an amazing evil queen. Look at me typing as if I am on twitter. Hahahahaha. Interestingly enough, Lana was also voted the 4^th most beautiful woman of 2014, in the world. And yes she most certainly deserved it.

It's a New Year

Lets just get all the boring crap out of the way first. Happy 2015 everyone. May your year be filled with nice things and stuff with sex. Rather make it good sex.

Now that, that is over, let's get to business. One of my students bitched at me that in the year of 2014 I didn't blog. Apparently she really missed reading about all my shit (I have a fan!!). Then some other people complained as well. Non students. 

What road? To where? Paved with what?

This is the road to hell. - Chris Rea -

There is in the English language this wonderful expression about the road that leads to hell. They say that it is paved with good intentions. I am a firm believer in this maxim of truth. I think that it is so profound that I almost want to credit it to the likes of one Hermes Trismagustus or Dr. John Dee, maybe even Israel Regardi or Carlos Castenada.  All four brilliant minds. So let’s make them share the credit. It is after all my blog. So on here it is now a reality.

Before we carry on, I must just explain that ‘hell’ in this instance, is not an actual destination. It is the outcome of actions or intentions in a negative sense.

The New Road

My Dearest Readers

I am afraid that I owe you an apology. I have sent you on a roller-coaster ride of expectancies when it came to me blogging regularly. I promised you something that I was not able to deliver. For that I am eternally sorry.

Life has taken some weird and unexpected turns. Yes, Paul and I are still together and still very happy and very much in love, before you start freaking out about that. As a matter of fact, he has been the only constant in my daily life and I cannot imagine what this world was like B.P. (Before Paul) I know that all people probably or rather most people, say that they have the best husband or at least partner in the world, but when it comes to my Paul, I most certainly nabbed the best one. Sorry for the rest of you.

I am Pagan, Psychic.......Crazy?

Recently, someone that I know has come out of Valkenberg Psychiatric Hospital. This blog is not about this person. But the experiences (visiting there) and the research around mental institutions and mental patients that I have done. All this  got me thinking. I am also busy watching a series called ‘United States of Tara’, which is about a woman who suffers from D.I.D. Disassociative Identity Disorder. This is the new term M.P.D. Multiple Personality Disorder.

It got me think because many years ago I spoke to people that has been admitted to psychiatric hospitals and I have spoken to doctors and nurses that has worked with these patients.

First Hatemail for 2014

Good Day Everyone

So as the heading suggests, I have received my first hatemail. My previous hatemail was at least from some chap calling himself Sam.  This one does not give a name. 

Either way, thank you for your comments. My complaints department will be dealing with it and they probably won't be getting back to you.  But I will thank you for the extra traffic that you have generated for me by your clever use of the word 'blok'. Why didn't I think of that?

I won't be commenting on the rest of your post, as I do not really find it comment worthy. Oh hang on, there is one comment I would like to make. 

My face being all over my blog. Yea..........I wouldn't expect Samsung to advertise tomato sauce. 

So people of the page. Without further delay, here is the post of Mr/s Anonymous. 

A Warm Welcome!!

The last year has proven to be a failure of note when it comes my writing. I have not been that inspired to write anything. Which basically translates to nothing much besides for work and NPT has happened. People have not been giving me that much material to write about. I am not sure if I should salute them or fall on my back. For me to say that the esoteric world has been quiet, Jirre that takes doing. Maybe I have just been careful as not to piss anyone off. That could also be.

But it is a new year and a new financial year and I am going to try to commit to writing at least once a week. I promise to try. Yes I am aware of the fact that it is like saying: “It is a definite maybe”. Hey, I have been told that I should have been a politician. Can you imagine. Zeo for President. I don’t think I would get votes.

But truth be told a lot has actually happened. I have just been busy and over whelmed and honestly tired of the public. I wanted my home and my privacy. Maybe I am getting older and wiser or maybe it was just a phase. Or maybe, just maybe, I just ran out of awesome clothes to wear out. Hahahahahaha. Lets go with that one.

For those that are new to my blogg. Welcome. Please do not expect something life changing. Do not expect me to be nice or even civil. If you are affronted by the mere thought of using the F word or the C word or the plethora of colourful metaphors that I use, then maybe you should not be reading this blog.

I have only two rules (for readers) when it comes to the blog.

1.     If you don’t like it, then don’t fucqing read it

2.     If you can take the time to read then you can take the time to leave a comment on the blog itself. Your feedback gives me more ……drive (that is probably the right or nice word to use) to carry on writing.

For those new to the blog let me just explain how I operate. Just so you can’t turn around and say: “But I didn’t know”. For those that know my blog, read through it and laugh and nod while thinking back on previous entries.

1.     I write in Afrikaans and English. But please not that English is my second tale nê. This means that my English spelling and grammar sometimes gives Mel and my sister a stroke. But they have already learned what I am going to teach you now. This is my blog. MINE. So if you don’t like, go buy a fucqing dictionary and read that, as that might be more entertaining to your particular needs.

2.     I write the way that I speak. Exactly the way I speak. I have been told that, that is what makes my stories so entertaining. So when I laugh in real life, I also type Bwhahahahaha or something like that.

3.     I will make fun of you in this blogg. If I know you, at some or other point you will feature. You can either accept that now, or get a stroke when you read about yourself.

4.     After you have had the stroke, please just take it for the fun and entertainment that it is. I wont purposefully go out to make you look like a doos. Unless you have been a doos of course. But then your anger is technically just a reflection of the validity of my blogg.

5.     Just like I have no issue about taking the piss out of you, I have no issue with taking the piss out of myself either.

6.     I have to state the obvious. I do not call a spade a spade. I call a spade a fucqing shovel.

7.     I deliberately spell id F-U-C-Q. The word fuck as you might know is an abbreviation or acronym for ‘Fornication Under Consent of the King’. Due to an incident with a coffee mug I am now affectionately called the Queen of Fucking Everything. Therefore it is under consent of the Queen. Hence FUCQ!

8.     I am gay. This will come out. If you are a good looking guy I will perv and drool. If you don’t want to catch the gay disease then steer clear.  Yes, I know I am married and Paul will perv with me and then we will both drag you to bed. Nothing like a good old threesome to end a long day.

9.     Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Sorry I just have to finish laughing over number 7. Oooohhhh okay breathe. Okay that was good. I can be random from time to time

10. If you are gonne get your panties in a knot, I will point and laugh and then write about it.

11. If you send me hate-mail, it will get publishes so we can all laugh about it. As a mater of fact, hate-mail get the most hits. So please send me some.

See taking the piss out of myself 11 years ago.

 

 

12. I do not consider myself a mega star like Dame Edna does. One day when there is fake porn of me on the internet, then I will be a mega star.

13. If you offer a service and I have made use of it, I will write about it. If your service was good you will get a nice review. If you sucked, then you can kiss my lilly white ass and take the kak I am going to write.

14. Keeping point 12 in mind. I am not an advertising agency. I am not going to advertise you because you want me to do it I don’t work like that. You want advertising you will let me make use of your services, yes I wil push to get it for free, or you can pay me to advertise for you.

15. Lastly (they {as in the Council that I belong to} are making me say this), I speak only for myself on this blogg. On this blogg, I do not represent any organization or brand other that myself. Apparently

With all of that out of the way. Lets usher in an new year on this blogg. A year of vulgarity, laughs, cries and fucqing good stories.

For those that missed me, I’M BAAAACCCKKK!!!!!!

For those that hoped I wouldn’t be back, FUCQ YOU!!!!!

And for those that are new, pull up a chair sugar, this shit is about to get real.

xxx

Zeo Goes Cyrus

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