This weekend past at dinner/movie club, we watched Mirror
Mirror. Again the poor witch is the one that gets the shortest end of the damn
stick. I don’t know who of you will remember this entry that I made about this
very issue
So all of this has led me to decide that I am going to
re-write the damn fairytales. So I am starting with Snow White and yes this
will also be done in parts. So without further hold-up, here is the new Snow
White.
A long long time ago in a country, in or close to Europe,
but definitely not Germany. Then again now that I think about it, they may have
been German, it will certainly explain a lot………., anyway way back to my story.
A long long time ago in Germany, there lived a beautiful
Queen with her husband the King. The Kingdom was happy and joyful, for they
would soon celebrate the birth of the first royal daughter. They knew it was a
daughter because the royal Tarot reader told them it would be one and she is
good. Gay men everywhere were
flabbergasted, and the priests were delighted, as they couldn’t afford another
scandal.
One cold day while the snow was falling outside the Queen
was sitting by a fire, gazing through a window, as she was busy hand
embroidering the Princesses first dress, when she saw some kitchen maid and
stable boy entering the stables together. Lost in the carnal regions of her
longing mind she doesn’t look at what she is doing and stabs her finger with
the needle. Red blood drips down her arm. “Fucking Christ!” the queen screams
at the sting, the stain will be the maids problem, not hers.
A maid that was standing outside waiting to be of service to
the queen enters the room, sees what happened and thinks to herself “Fucking pansy” as she is dismissed from
the room. The Queen looks down at the blood and wonders how beautiful it must
be to have red lips like the blood. How much effort she could save if her lips
were always this red. In thought she then wishes that her daughter would have
lips as red as blood. But vanity and pride are awful things. So she wishes that
her daughter will have skin as flawless as snow and hair as black as soot.
Therefore she will never need lipstick, foundation or hair dye. This will
clearly save on a lot of effort and time.
Six months later the Queen gives birth to a beautiful little
girl who is everything that she had wished for and they call her Snow White.
But due to bad medical practices and a poor healthcare system in Germany, a
long long time ago, the Queen lost too much blood and within the next month she
unfortunately died, leaving the King to order the castle maids to raise his
daughter. Not like he knows how to raise a kid. But luck smiles on the little
girl as a very close bond develops between her and her father, him being in the
closet and all. It was like having his own real Barbie doll.
Days become weeks, weeks became months, months became years
and when the girl hits her terrible teens the entire castle has had enough. The
king decides that he will have to hide all of his gay porn and take another
wife again. One that can keep a firm hand on his Snow White. One that can be a
mother to her and take her under her wing. He goes to the Tarot reader once
more and asks her to gaze into the crystal ball for a mail order bride. For
hours they look at profiles and likes and dislikes until they see a profile
photo of Grimhilda. Kak name but the most stunning woman you have ever seen in
your life. I tell you Angelina has nothing on her. The most beautiful green
eyes, blond hair, perfect C-cups, an ass you can bounce coins of off and legs
that can wrap around you twice. Using his PayPal account he makes the payment
and two weeks later a lavish carriage enters the castle grounds. The entire senior staff, the King and Snow White is rounded up to meet this gorgeous
woman. When she steps out of the carriage the entire group of people is
awestruck by her beauty. People are dripping like township taps, irrespective
of their sexual preference. This new Queen is hot! She glides towards the King
who has to hide his wet spot and curtseys in front of him. He takes her by the
hand and very quickly introduces her to everyone before he immediately drags
her off to his bedroom where he rips the clothes off of her. And she gladly
obliges and gives him a blowjob that he will never forget. For two years
Grimhilda takes care of the Snow White. Her husband she knows is a fag and
treats her like shit. The little girl is rebellious and wont listen to anything
she has to say. She keeps on throwing things at Grimhilda and screams at her
“You are not my Mother!” All in all, life for the Queen of Germany, a long long
time ago, is pretty fucked up.
Then one day at the town market she sees a gypsy woman selling a huge ornate mirror, must have been from India. It is a stunning mirror and the Gypsy tells her that it is enchanted. “The mirror will show you who is the most of anything, if you ask it” the gypsy explains. Grimhilda swipes her black American Express and the mirror is then put in her elaborate walk in closet. For a while she just looks at the mirror and she can’t believe what the gypsy had said, surely magick is not real and so the mirror is never used for anything other than a normal mirror. One day when the King is once again drunk he demands Grimhilda to dress as a boy and then he wants to take her from behind. She refuses and in the Kings drunken state he hits her with his belt. Not once, not twice but over and over all while he is screaming at her to remember that he is the most powerful man in the entire world. In between the blows to her face and body she some how gets free from him and runs to go hide. Runs into her bedroom and locks the door. Then into the closet and locks that door. Sobbing behind clothing rails the sun makes the mirror glint behind her. In her sobbing state she slowly rises and looks at the huge ornate monster and remembers the words of the gypsy woman.
Pulling herself together and whipping her face she climbs
out from behind her clothes, where she was hiding to stand in front of the
mirror. Looking square at her own full reflection she says “Mirror, Mirror on
the wall, who is the most powerful of them all?”
Her reflection in the mirror starts to blur and change. In a
few moments she finds herself looking in the mirror, at a tall handsome man,
with long black hair and blue eyes. He wears a black bindi between his brows
and he has many piercings. His
clothing is made of black leather and lace and he looks like a gothic God.
Without needing an introduction the mirror responds in a low monotone voice.
“You, my Queen, are extremely powerful, but only by marriage. Your husband, the
King and ruler, is the most powerful person alive.” In that moment the queen is
transformed. She nods her head and decides to end all the abuse from her drunk
gay husband. The image in the mirror smiles a deep broad smile and changes back
to the reflection of the Grimhilda
That night she goes to visit the King in his chambers,
dressed up as a boy with a dagger hiding between her breasts.
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