Where Zeo Started

In some weird fucked up way I am giving you my memoirs by way of this blog. Of course this includes my thoughts and feelings on certain topics as well. I want to tell you about my first class I ever gave. I know we have lightly touched on it but lets take a deeper look inside the mind of me……….if it scares you, don’t worry, it scares me too. Hehehehehehe

As you know by now I gave my first class in mid April of the year 1998. But how did this happen? At that point in my life I had read a few books and a few printouts that I could find. Not nearly enough to even think of calling myself a teacher. But I was ponsy, full of myself and in need to prove a point to myself. I mean come on I was 16. What the fuck did I know about teaching anyone? But I wanted to do it. Two of my friends humoured me (well at least, now that I think back, I think they were humouring me) and signed up to be taught by me. Yes I soaked up all the info that I read like a sponge, but this didn’t make me a teacher.

Sometimes I think it was the best thing that I could have done and other times I look back and just think “What the fuck where you thinking?” But I don’t regret it. I learned so much from that experience. So I wrote about 24 pages myself of what we were going to discuss and the rest was all readings from books. Mostly from Raymond Buckland’s Big Blue book.

You know I can remember every single student that ever passed through my hands. And the two that started it all was Chloe ‘Rhiannon’ Smedy and Quentin Fourie. I think if we had 6 classes it was a lot. After that I met Darkwolf and so many people and then realized that I actually knew jack shit. I was no expert on anything and needed to learn a lot more to even think of attempting to teach again. And so I packed away the notes that I made. I still have those notes. Come on that’s where it all started.

When I first met a witch outside of my family I was jumping up and down and couldn’t believe others existed. I met one woman. Her name was Nicola. I can’t remember why we met. I remember that Chloe se up the meet but I never really say her again after that and therefore I can’t really remember what the purpose was. But it could also be that I scared the poor woman off. You see when I started meeting other witches, the country was very different. You didn’t just meet other Pagans. People were on the verge of coming out but still weary. So what do I do, doos that I am? I scare people away. How? Let me explain this.

A young 17 year old Zeo. Even this photo is ponsy

When I was that young and I started to meet so many other people who were so extraordinary it started freaking me out cuz I realized just how plain and boring I was at that point in time (a lot has changed, hehehehehehehe). So my mother also being Pagan and teaching me things and walking the path with me (As I previously explained, we were always different in our ways, called ourselves the Addams Family) I got on the Hereditary witch band wagon. It was and still is true. My mother, being adopted, also discovered that her biological aunt was also into weird things and especially healed the sick with herbs. But the aunt had been dead apparently and so we could not contact her. You can imagine this little blond blue eye wonder walking around, making sure that everyone knew he was an hereditary witch. It was so pathetic of me. I, in my young mind I needed to feel that I was special and that was my ticket. It is a true ticket, not a word of lie, but I am sure it started pissing people off to hear it over and fucking over. And that is one of the ways I scared people off. Who wants to listen to a 18 year old snot constantly going on and on? I don’t.

Of course my sister and I also started an e-zine called the ‘Wiccan Read’. It was great fun to do but of course gave me another ticket to ride fucking flat. I was co-editor and co-founder of an e-zine! Noddy badge!!

You know when I think back and think of all the bizarre shit that I used to do and cause then I almost can’t believe that I was once one of the, young Bambi in the headlights, very excited, everything is wonderful 18 year olds that believe that when your bowels are loose and you feel the chill down your spine when you shit, it is actually the Goddess speaking to you. I was very much into all the energies and all the things that today’s young pagans are into and I just think to myself, damn, either I have grown up or become Jaded or a both. I’d like to think both.

Someone once asked me how is it that I can tolerate these young kids that are so very wide eyed and busy tailed. I told the person that I could relate. She laughed at me and told me that I couldn’t possibly be speaking the truth as I am nothing like that. This is true, I am nothing like that……anymore, but we all had to start off being wide eyed and busy tailed at some point.

Mwah!!