Monday, 12 August 2013

Wedding Planner


Three things, all of you know about me by now.
1 That I am a poof. That means I am gay
2 That I am a Pagan
3 That I recently (on the 13th of July 2013) got married

So keeping that in mind I want to tell you a little about arranging our magickal day. The planning wasn’t at all as easy as what it might have seemed. This entry is not so much about our wedding as what it is about when it comes to planning a wedding in general. But especially planning a wedding while keeping point 1 and 2 in mind.

You might think that 1 and 2 is not needed to be kept in mind but let me just tell you. They are important.
Every step, everyone that you hire, every venue that you visit, everything will be impacted by these details. Our wedding (or Handfasting as it is called in Paganism) and reception was both held at the same venue.  A beautiful hall in Milnerton. The dance floor steps down from the rest of the hall in a kind of oval shape. The ceremony was held on the dance floor and after that the floor was cleared for the dancing. Beautiful drapes and fairy lights adorned the pillars. The ceremony was openly Pagan and a blind man could see the just about pornographic gay statue on the altar, oh not to mention the two Grooms.
I am telling you this all for a reason. You have to understand that the caterer, as well as the cash bar and the DJ had to set up before the time so that they do not interrupt the ceremony. The wedding started at 17:00. Guests started to arrive by 16:00 (some a little earlier even). The caterer, bar and DJ had to be set up by the time that the guests arrived. Thankfully this was all done successfully. The catering staff, bar staff and DJ was thus going to be there for the ceremony as well. Not to mention the photographer and video camera person.

Everyone we hired had to be aware of the fact that this was a gay Pagan wedding. Not because we are over the top screaming queens, but for practical reasons.  Now thankfully we had no issue at all with any of this but can you imagine your caterer shows up and the in mid ceremony realizes what is going on. Let’s say your caterer is a serious Bible basher. Can you imagine the scene that will be caused. I imagine it to be something like this.

Caterer: This is so beautiful. (just realize that the caterer is standing on side just observing and obviously talking while the Priestess is doing her thing to the lovely couple)
Priestess: We are here to join these to souls together.
Caterer: Sjoe the Bride looks butch,, lets not judge.
Priestess: We your friends and family are here to witness your vows.
Caterer: Weird that they both wearing the same suit kind of thing, let not judge
Priestess: John and David do you come here out……
Caterer: SODOM, GEMORA!!! (at this point she whips out a bible and screams)

Can you imagine the scene. You have to inform the people that you will be working with on your BIG day about what they should and can expect. You don’t want scene’s that could have been avoided. Rather struggle to find the correct bar, that will be sensitive to all of your needs, instead of having a freak out at your wedding. Can you imagine the Bartender is a homophobe and just refuses to serve the happy couple because he thinks that handing them a drink will make him catch the gay virus and turn him. Or worse, they pack up and leave because they are offended by your ways.

Again, thankfully none of that happened to us. We had the most amazing crew on the day that made everything perfect.
For us the BIG disaster happened two weeks before the wedding when someone broke into our home and stole our wedding rings (among other things). We re-ordered our rings, but they were not in time for the wedding. Yes we were crushed, devastated, broken, but it was important to remember that even though the rings were beautiful, they were but a small part of the day. We used other rings for the day and in the mean time our rings have arrived again. We exchanged rings in a Full Moon ritual on Monday night.

When the poop does strike the fan with regards to your wedding planning, just try to remember that freaking out won’t solve it. Planning the wedding (that is if you are not using  planner) is supposed to be fun and a time of bonding for you and your partner. Paul and I did everything together. All the choices were made by the both of us and everything to do with the wedding was because both of us wanted it to that way.
Okay I am going to admit that I did have professional help. About a year or two before we got married I bought a book on how to plan a gay wedding. I read this book cover to cover. A lot of the advise I didn’t use and some I did, but it helped us. Mel can vouch for me when I say the book is full of post-it’s, to remind me of things. The book is ‘A Very Pink Wedding’ by Nicola Hill
Paul jokes (sometimes I am not so sure if he is joking) and tells people that they should rather elope, as it is easier than planning a wedding. He asked me in the week if I would do it again if we had a choice. Naturally my response was “yes I would do it again” as stressing and time consuming as what it was, I would do it again. It was a wedding straight out of a Disney movie.

xxx

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