Fucqing Spookasem!

Friday night, Mel and I realize that it is one week to Beltaine and that there is a shit load of things that we still need to buy. So we, well I arrange that Paul goes to Mirelle to play games and Mel and I go shopping after work. So we get the boys McDonalds and we decide to grab a bite to eat while at Canal Walk.

Well we started off by having to turn back home twice. Once for the Beltaine monies and second time for my wallet.

On the way to Canal Walk. We HAVE to remember that Mirelle asked us for 6 bags of Spookasem (Candy Floss). Besides for all the shopping we need to do, We HAVE to remember the 6 bags.

At Canal Walk we first go to Pick and Pay to get Mel some rolley papers for her tobacco and we walk right past the Spookasem. We see a Bargain Books sale in the Centre Court and we have a look-see. Good thing we did, cuz we got a very nice colouring in book. Then we  decide to go to Spur and we sit on the balcony. The VIP as we called it, since ours was the only table there. Sitting at this lovely scenic table, overlooking the river without gondolas, we realize that neither of us brought a copy of the Beltaine shopping list with. Now we have to attempt to reconstruct a shopping list. I have to tell you that both Mel and I have really terrible memories. That’s why we make lists, to remember stuff. We however neglected to remember the list. I don’t know how long we were at the spur but when we got out of there we only had an hour left before the shops would close. This however didn’t make us loose focus at all. The jewellery shops and Book shops, did however break our focus and before we knew it we were just about ushered out of Exclusive books!

So we walk to where you pay your parking ticket, outside, and as we stand in the queue, both of us at the same time say loudly “Spookasem!!” The shops are closed and we forgot the Spookasem. The one important thing that we had to get, we are now without. So one the way walking to the car, we try to figure out where on the Goddesses green Earth can we find Spookasem at this time of night. We plan a route home that could include 24 hour garage shops.

Three garage shops later, we had gotten them free Wimpy balloons and a bought them slush puppies, but still no Spookasem for Mirelle.  We are so in the kak, or as Mel puts it, poopoo. At this point we are contemplating buying sugar and trying to make it ourselves. How hard can it be right? But we decided against it, due to Mel’s baking skills and my Milktart episode. Then we considered taking sugar to Andre but didn’t think that he would be impressed with us. But he can bake and cook, so he must know. We also contemplated going to Tulbagh for the remainder of the weekend, in an attempt to run away.  Hoping that they miss us so much that they forget about the damn Spookasem. Fat chance of that happening. I have a more likely chance to become pregnant.

At the BP where we got the Slushies the cashier, a blond guy named Leon, tells us that the Minimart in Milnerton closes in the next 15 minutes! So in the car we go off to Milnerton Minimart. We storm in there, bags flying and Slushies in hand, only to be told that they do not have any Spookasem. We go back to the car and I see two South Afican Flags. So Mel goes in and while this woman is counting her tills money, she tells her that because they don’t have Spookasem she wants a Flag and if they wont give her one, then she will hold them Ransom for one. Her eyes stretch and she just about dies. The other cashier is now doubled over with laughing at us that keeps on telling them “we are in the kak because you don’t sell Spookasem”. From there Mel remembers about a shop in Bothasig next to pub called cheers.

At this point we have contemplated giving them a shooter and telling them it’s called Spookasem, running away, sneaking back into the house and pretending we were there all along, cutting up KFC into very thin strips and tell them it’s new chicken flavoured Spookasem, making it ourselves, get Andre to make it, get Nina to make it, going to the Waterfront and running away to Tulbagh.  We reach the new store and there is also no Spookasem. We decide one more shop. Some small dodge shop in Bothasig. This is the last one. If this one doesn’t have it, then we know the Goddess has forsaken us and we will soon meet her again. Accepting our impending doom, we find in the shop 6 bags of Spookasem.

We ask them to look for more, but they only have 6. But 6 is good. We are cheering and going bos! People are looking at us, as if they never had a need to buy something for their spouses.

Two Wimpy Balloons, Three Sluchies, 6 Bags of Spookasem, Four Books and two stolen hangers (it was lying in a trolley) later we arrive home.

"Before all you self-rightous people freak out about the stolen hangers, they were in a trolley at Canal Walk, which was threatening to crash into the car. I always need hangers so I took them"

As we stop the car, Mirelle knocks on Mel’s window and says “See I can read minds”. Mel looks at me and quietly say “Well then we’re fuced!”. That was it, for the rest of the night we could not stop laughing.

Now as we drive past that little dodge shop in Bothasig, we comment “Our Salvation”!

Mwah!!