Lies

I am once again reading the Bhagavad-Gita. Very interesting book. But I find that there are two very conflicting sides within myself. The Hindu orientated side of me wants to embrace the Gita but the Pagan side of me says that believing Krishna to be the supreme consciousness is conflicting with my eclectic nature. I am hoping for guidance.

Recently I have been the target of someone’s hate. I found out who has stolen my robes and rings and crystals and and and, and this person knows that I know. Instead of coming clean and talking about it he has decided to smear my name black, well he is trying. The most god awful things about me. To be honest I am kinda used to it. You see I have the personality that people either love or hate and those that hate it has decided to make it their mission to speak only ill of me and all that I do. It doesn’t normally bother me, really I am so over these pretentious people and their dragons that has nothing good to say about anyone that is not part of their little click.

But I think I expected more from this man. I think I thought that maybe there was hope that he would be an adult about all of this and we would be able to talk about it. Clearly I was terribly wrong.

So I have taken a few days to try and see his perspective on the matter. I have given him the benefit of the doubt and worked on putting myself in his shoes. I still cannot see how I am only ego driven, How I believe myself to be a God, How I want people to kiss my feet and herald my coming. I do not see how I have an attitude that I am better than others or that I do not care for other people. That is one of the reasons for me reading the Gita again. To try and see how ego driven I am and hopefully to get some form of guidance. Well so far I have to admit that I do not feel that I all that Ego driven. I honestly cannot see what this man from Pietermaritzburg sees.

So I am thinking that his ranting I in truth not based on me at all but based on the reflection that he sees in the mirror. Of course I could be completely wrong. But my mother taught me long ago that people often hate in others what they hate in themselves really. I am no angry with him. I do not hate him. Granted I also do not understand how anyone can steal from someone else and then lie about it even when you get caught. I have made peace with the fact that I will never see the stolen items again and in truth I would not want it back. It is somehow tainted now and not the same anymore.

I am not a perfect man and I have never claimed that I am. I do what I do in service of my calling and I have never claimed that my way is the only way. I encourage students to find their own truth and to grow beyond what I can teach them. Nine out of ten times the people that do not like me are misguided in what they have been told to believe about me and they are too much of silly sheep like people to think for themselves and ask me about all the things that they have been told about. Again, I really don’t mind that some people do not like me. I never expected anyone to like me and I am well aware of the fact that I cannot please everyone. Somewhere along the path some people will be pissed off by me, but what boggles my mind is how can people just blindly believe or make up this shit. How fucking pathetic does your own life need to be to be talking so much kak about someone else who has never been anything but good for you?

If you think that this post is about you, then who knows maybe it is. All I know is instead of being a coward and hiding behind your ugly words, how about you grow some balls and talk to me. You will find that I am a lot more accommodating than what you have been led to believe. Hope to hear from you soon.

Mwah!